Post edited 6:19 pm – June 12, 2010 by talfonso
In one of my earlier posts, I discussed about how I tend to go on the dance floor if I feel if I had to, but my mother's scolding after an event I attended last year taught a lesson – don't dance on the dance floor unless someone asks to.
The event in question was a wedding in the country club. I love to dance in a social event that includes dancing and used to dance in such an event, but since that time it has changed for me. I danced when the DJ asked to, but he's some feet away from me but not close enough to intimately ask me to do so. Several times, my mother pulled me back to my seat, telling me to stop because to her it's too immature. (If you're wondering where she got the protocol, I think it's the way that she was raised in her native Philippines.) After the wedding, she lectured me about how I lacked finesse and class and how I was too eager. It really hit me very hard emotionally, causing my memories of carefree dancing to fade in the past. I tried not to cry and I just hated myself. I blamed myself for not just my autism causing me to lack decorum and self-control, but I chided myself for being too eager in the first place. I emailed my ESE teachers for a social story relating to that event and how to avoid making the mistakes I did there, but I did not get any response. I had to do something to release the crippling past.
Days before I went to the event I attended just recently, I was anticipating a dance party of sorts. The past memories of the wedding and the lecture began flooding back to me, so I decided to tap away the past with EFT. I made up affirmations that remind me that I love myself and allow me permission to have more self-control:
Even though I want to dance in that party, but I will be "too much in the middle," I fully love and accept myself anyway…
Even though I want to dance, but will tend to embarrass my mother, I profoundly love myself…
Even though I really want to dance on the dance floor but I have to reserve myself, I deeply and completely love and accept myself…
I tapped on meridian points (including the fingers) about being in the dance party and showing off on the dance floor, like "I love to dance," "it's boring to sit when everyone else is dancing," and "I'm very eager to dance." After ending this round with taking a deep breath and tapping on the the 9-gamut point, I thought on the lecture after the wedding and tapped on the karate chop:
Even though I want to dance in the party, but will embarrass my mother like I did last year, I really accept myself and choose to reserve myself,
Even though I will be dancing in the middle again, I deeply and completely love myself…
Even though I will have her getting mad at me after the party for showing off, I love myself and choose not to lose control…
I tapped on how I hated and blamed myself and how the past crippled me because I embarrassed my mother. After doing the 9-gamut again, I found that my eagerness stemmed from impatience, that lead me to tapping those affirmations:
Even though I was too eager at the wedding…
Even though I was too impatient to get on the dance floor, thus causing me to have that lecture…
Even though I will be impatient again and dance in the middle…
I tapped on the negative reminder phrases on the event again, only slightly different to address my past impatience. After doing the 9-gamut point, I looked up "finesse" and "class" in the online dictionary. I tapped a round away any remaining past that haunts me and used positive reminder phrases with a round relating to each definition while looking at them ("I choose to fit the definition," "I choose to have more finesse and refinement," and so on). I ended my EFT session with a few rounds on positive reminders on how to act at a dance party, how I released the past of my mother's lecture on how I cut lose and lost self-control, and how I chose to dance only when asked. I did the session days before and just before the event.
Once at the party, someone asked me to dance. I did, and when the song was over, I sat back down like she did, waiting for another opportunity to dance only when asked. I had to miss the fun party dances some of everyone else were doing, but that tapping session I did days and hours ago reminded me to have better manners. I told my mother that I learned the lesson in the past and chose to dance only if someone asked me to and she said that she's proud of me because I'm not the only one on the dance floor. I survived the party without losing self-control because of EFT!
If there's an event where I expect dancing, I can plan days on tapping on reserving myself and dancing only when offered before that and just minutes to hours before. Then again, I'll manage to survive it like I did just recently! 
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